Issue 06: Memo to Chatty Friendly Lance

fHe wants a tell-all, but only if the circumstances are right on his terms.

History will likely favor Lance more than now, which is what this Oprah 2.0 Interview is about where he reconfesses the same stuff with a bit more detail. He wants a tell-all, but only if the circumstances are right on his terms. Setting aside the lives he ruined, branding a disease, and selling the greatest marketing lie ever told, one of a yellow-banded ascended hero, what he did do is win the Tour.

A goal was set by Weisel to win and they did it, kicked-ass at doing it, and did it better than the competitors. It was the great train robbery of our times and enormously entertaining. They played the game, microdosed more effectively, and worked the press harder, with Omerta enforcers.

What we’ve always said at Bike Hugger editorially is that doping in the sport isn’t a personal failure, it’s endemic and a corrupt system that stages a show for us to watch. This isn’t a morality play and by no means is this sport above any other, in terms of an elevating humanity. Instead it’s the Triplets of Belleville that reruns the same narrative arcs, including a hero that wears a thorny, suffering crown on his way to victory.

What failed was the press and media who absolutely knew and didn’t tell the fans. When the CEOs who wrote the checks for the doping confess then we’re ready to move on. Until then, more stories like this will churn and a 41-yr old former teammate of Lance will win a Grand Tour with the same-old questions about how he did it.

We know how Horner did it. He did it just like Lance did.

Ed. note: Before pressing the publish button on this issue, Chatty Friendly Lance did another interview, so this is our response.

Ed. note: After a good run of 42 issues, our magazine app is no
longer available, but we’ve archived
content here on our blog.

Also published on Medium.

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