Gorgeous Cavendish

What was that were you saying about being humble? A sprinter, winning at 40+ mph, pointing at his thighs, ain’t humble or well-grounded. He’s a sprinter and that’s what they do. It’s machismo and no fear to ride into a hole in a pack, bang elbows, and fly out the other side, and across the finish line.

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Don’t get this whole he’s arrogant, no he’s not thing. He’s a sprinter! He should wear a cape like Gorgeous George, prance around before the stage, pointing to the finish line, and mouthing how many bike lengths he’ll have on his competitors at the end.

As the sport emerges from the darkness of drugs, we need the archetypes to return to glory. Heroes and villains. Big personalties. This wussification of the sport and a sprinter pisses me off. Paul (may have been Phil) used to say of Lance, “the boss slaps his hand on the table.” That’s right and we need a new Cipo to tell the world how good GREAT he is.

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I hope Cavs orders up a skinsuit sublimated with his fastest time and he adds the number of wins to it after each stage. Even better if he disses Michael Ball and calls him a pussy.

Pop Culture Note: Gorgeous George was a flamboyant wrestler during the early days of TV that many credit with creating pop culture. “Using a valet to accompany him to the ring, dressing in flashy women’s robes, and sporting a blond curly hairdo,” he was a public sensation and influential to celebrites that followed, including James Brown.

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