Mark V’s “Poop on Wheels” Award: Puma Fixie

Puma fixie 01.jpg

Interbike is a place where dreamers sell their dreams, where corporations present consumer traps, where marketing people gamble their skills. Not everyone can be a winner, but sometimes you just have to call out the losers…when the product is just shamelessly rubbish. For my inaugural “Poop on Wheels” Award, I present to you Puma’s 2010 fixed gear.

Fixed gears are HOT…all the kids are doing it, right? Puma just needed to make a bike the same way they make all those “limited edition” shoes…by using this year’s hot colour ways to cover up a complete lack of engineering and craftmanship.

Puma fixie 02.jpg

Rubbish components, unattractive design, with a Puma(TM) symbol on the top tube. Please, don’t buy this bike….even if you are one of those jackasses who collects limited edition trainers.


Those were of REMARKABLE low build quality.  Seemed to be designed by paint color first, then figure out the rest of the shit after.

Mark completed his task of least innovative bike or at least those predictable “stepper things.”

yeah, the stepper bikes are really sad, but the inventors hawking them earn back a couple points because they at least tried.  this Puma bike just makes me mad looking at it.

The thing about this that is so irksome is that it’s clearly driven by the “wow there’s a lot of money in fixies, let’s get in on it” attitude. “Limited Edition” should be limited to those with non-limited editions, namely a company that’s been interested in bikes for a while. I’m thinking Kelme, Diadora, maybe even Adidas or Nike if they ever get back into making cycling shoes again.

For the rest of you, don’t be the latest to jump into fixies cos it seems like easy money… be the innovator in the next trend if you’re going to jump into bicycles. Here’s a clue: plain clothes cycling is the next big thing. Look at all the celebs you see riding to the coffee shops. They’re in designer wear, not tipster/faux messenger garb, riding three speeders not track bikes.

We seriously need someone to figure out how to make a everyday shoe stiff enough for pedalling but soft enough to wear into the office when I get to work. Bonus points if it doesn’t look like a MTB shoe but cleverly hides my cleats so I can rock clipless without scratching floors at work.

Limited Edition should be limited to those with non-limited editions, namely a company that’s been interested in bikes for a while.

Puma has sold a rebranded Biomega Boston for a few years.  Does that count?

Don’t forget their version of the Slingshot.

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