I Love My Ballocks


Chamois butter is the magic elixir of cycling–it can transform a painful and chafing ride into pure bliss. Genitals, (either the internal or external variety) were never really meant to spend extended time cozying up to the inside of a pair of cycling shorts. I don’t really care how fluffy or slippery or awesome the chamois, it’s still going to feel like sandpaper after a hard day in the saddle.

One of my favorite chamois creams comes from a small company called Chomper Body, and the male-specific mix is called Ballocks. They also make a salve for women called Booty Balm, as well as a therapeutic and embrocation cream.

The products contain the essence of tea tree oil, lemon, lavender and other natural ingredients and runs $18 for the Ballocks or Booty Balm and $9 for the Crank embrocation creme or Muscle Butter therapeutic rub. You can buy them at many local bike stores, but the products are available on the company’s website as well.

A small dab of Ballocks is enough to keep me comfortable all-day without that slimy feeling that many cremes can leave behind, and I never feel like I’m sliding around on my saddle after application. The smell isn’t overpowering or obnoxious either, with just a slight scent of tea-tree odor.


I rotate between Assos, DZ-Nutz, and Nubutte.

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