Gorgeous Cavendish

What was that were you saying about being humble? A sprinter, winning at 40+ mph, pointing at his thighs, ain’t humble or well-grounded. He’s a sprinter and that’s what they do. It’s machismo and no fear to ride into a hole in a pack, bang elbows, and fly out the other side, and across the finish line.

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Don’t get this whole he’s arrogant, no he’s not thing. He’s a sprinter! He should wear a cape like Gorgeous George, prance around before the stage, pointing to the finish line, and mouthing how many bike lengths he’ll have on his competitors at the end.

As the sport emerges from the darkness of drugs, we need the archetypes to return to glory. Heroes and villains. Big personalties. This wussification of the sport and a sprinter pisses me off. Paul (may have been Phil) used to say of Lance, “the boss slaps his hand on the table.” That’s right and we need a new Cipo to tell the world how good GREAT he is.

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I hope Cavs orders up a skinsuit sublimated with his fastest time and he adds the number of wins to it after each stage. Even better if he disses Michael Ball and calls him a pussy.

Pop Culture Note: Gorgeous George was a flamboyant wrestler during the early days of TV that many credit with creating pop culture. “Using a valet to accompany him to the ring, dressing in flashy women’s robes, and sporting a blond curly hairdo,” he was a public sensation and influential to celebrites that followed, including James Brown.



13 Comments

He’s not pointing to his thighs, he’s pointing to his Isle of Manhood.

[Too good a joke just for Twitter].

Even better! He’s like 5 ft tall right? Anyone remember Robbie McEwen? He’s mellowed with age, but used to love to hate him. Arrogant, a dick, the whole thing.

*The Isle of Manhood* I think is his new tag line.

I couldn’t agree more.  The sport needs personalities!

Cavendish is the man right now.  He has stage wins in most, if not all the major races he’s been in for almost a year now.

Columbia is getting their money’s worth for sure. 

Besides, every sport needs it’s heroes and villains or no one will be interested.

White shorts, and printed on six pack = terrible kit design.

Cav is great.  I feel sorry for Tom B. He is my favorite rider, but mostly for his spring classics performance.  Cav won’t be anywhere around him in those races.

Cav seems to have a real mental edge on his rivals.  Similar to Tiger Woods.

Well the fruity-letters logo isn’t that great either, but that design is 10M times better than last years.

But yes on Cavs that’s the confidence that wins. I don’t know how many people saw it, but when Cipo unretired the first time and won his first sprint after a few mistakes, he double-barrel flipped off the peloton. That’s a sprinter and I cheered and said, “he’s back!”

The confidence and bravado is great.  It allows us to love him and to hate him.  It is awesome.

And oh those eyelashes! ;-)

A sprinter with bravado, guts, confidence AND gorgeous eyes…yup, he’s got it all!
Jennifer @vivavelo

Am I the only one that thinks he’s pointing to his obviously damp shorts and complaining about numb penis syndrome?

In the heat of the moment, you do strange things.  I’ve taunted someone I took to bitch-school in a sprint one time (still feel a little bad about it).  Would I do that off the bike? - probably not.

It helps to be able to back it up though. 

Also - remember Cav is SHORT.  Remember our friend Napoleon and his complex :)

@ Jennifer “yup, he’s got it all!”, and the Euro Teeth to match.

@-A of course we trash talk…who doesn’t when Beef jerky Primes are on the line. Grown men re-living playground recess days, is what it amounts to (at least in the case of middle age guys like us)

If anything, he’s saying, “deez nutz!”

I don’t want to say the last season was tainted, but with the disappointment at the Olympics and the absence of Boonen at Le Tour, you need to put some qualifications on 2008.

I seem to remember Cav sporting a pair of Rock & Republic jeans as he walked along the beach with his girlfriend in the Versus personal interest story on him, so I don’t think there will be much dogging of Michael Ball.

Until yesterday I would not have preferred Cavendish as a classics rider, but on the longest stage of the tour, Boonen couldn’t get around his wheel and gave up—unbelievable.  If milliseconds were awarded for dreaminess, Boonen may have won, but then he’d fall back if Cavendish got points for charm.  Either way, the man’s undefeatable, and lordy, it’s oh-so-hard to be humble.

Of course there is a model for being 100% awesome and grounded, and his name is Jens Voigt.  He’s ten times harder than Chuck Norris in a diamond skinsuit.

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