Don’t Steal Bikes, Bro

In the tradition of “Don’t Taze me bro!” we now have “Don’t steal bikes, Bro!” in a video that seems to have been shot in NYC during the confrontation that followed a bike theft stopped in progress. (Ah, citizen journalism.)

Based on the restaurant banner outside the scene of a part of the beat-down this happened on the corner of 1st and Houston in NYC, an area with a good amount of bikes locked to utility poles and street signs during the day.

Things of interest to me in this video include the super-awkward looking helmet on the would-be thief (and the fact that it absorbed a blow hockey-mask style–who says helmets aren’t safe) and the Ultimate Fighter stance of the guy doing the main ass-kicking.

As much as I decry violence as a paradigm for localized behavior correction, I’ve had my stuff stolen before and a little teeny bit of me cherishes the can of whoop ass unleashed on the criminal.


He should have just called the cops, the macho crap gets you in trouble every time.

There’s a considerable amount going on in the video and why I think it was quick to [meme on Twitter](

* The morality play of “don’t steal bikes, bro’” is followed by the lesson to own your sins: “you can’t apologize for dat shit.”

* Pop culture reflected in the Ultimate Fighting Championships stance, ready for a roundabout kick on the thief.

* Goofy helmet

Since David posted this, YouTube pulled the video. Either the owner is saving it for a reality show like extreme sports or YouTube doesn’t permit beat downs anymore.

But by the power of them internets, we’ve got [a shirt design at least](

Also see

* [Bike Jax](
* [Prolly is not Probably](
* [Urban Velo](

BikeSnobNYC picked it up, and of course had a hilarious comment:

“This is incredibly disturbing. The attempted theft and ensuing beating is one thing, but the fact that messengers are now brunching in the East Village is incontrovertible proof that we live in troubled times.”

re: call the cops.  People have stolen bikes in front of cop cars with a second cop passing by in NYC.  video

A quote from a friend of mine who still lives in NYC:
“They recently caught a couple of guys with a box truck full of stolen bikes here in NYC. They too spent a couple of hours at the precinct before being let go, and the police never followed up to see where the bikes were being taken to.”

The NYPD don’t do anything about bike theft.  They are very unhappy even to be asked to file a report.

And the video is back! Dropped it into the post.

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